By Irene Adler
Hi. My name is Irene and I have known Sherlock for a very long time. When I heard that he was back in business and that he was calling his next endeavor The Case of the Worthless Newspapers I just had to sit down with him and find out what was going on.
Irene: You certainly have aged since we last met, but it is so good to find that you are still alive and back in the game.
Sherlock: It is true that I’m much older now and that is because for a few decades I stopped practicing the secret of eternal youth. But I’m glad you are continuing as I taught you and, as I’ve always said, you have the face of the most beautiful of women and the mind of the most resolute of men. How may I help you today?
Irene: You make me blush. I am interested in knowing why you have decided that all newspapers are worthless. You didn’t always feel that way; what has changed?
Sherlock: I’m calling this The Case of the Worthless Newspapers, not “All Newspapers are Worthless.” There is a big difference. This is about the worthless papers, not all papers.
Irene: Tricky. Your title is a bit misleading; is it intended to get people to read your book when they might not otherwise?
Sherlock: Of course. And that is precisely what many newspapers do; they use misleading or sensational headlines to get your attention when it might be in your best interest to be doing something else, like cooking a healthy meal or making love to someone.
Irene: Perhaps it doesn’t matter whether newspapers are worth anything or not; they seem to be going out of business because everything is going to the internet.
Sherlock: Actually, this case isn’t about newspapers per se but about the entire news media, or what passes for it anyway. There is a wonderful video you might watch that expresses my sentiments exactly. It is called The Craziness of the Daily News.
Irene: That’s a very funny and poignant video. But it is less than two minutes long. Why shouldn’t someone just watch the video and skip reading your book.
Sherlock: The video describes the problem. We are going to talk about the solutions. Watson and I will invite readers to join the Baker Street Irregulars and hack the news.
Irene: What does “hack the news” mean?
Sherlock: It means that the people should take back responsibility for the news and not let powerful people and institutions tell them what happened, what to feel, and what to think.
Irene: How does one do that?
Sherlock: Read the book. The first chapter, Calling All Irregulars, is out now and is available here. You can buy it for only 99 cents on Amazon here, or you can get a free copy for your kindle or other e-readers on Unglue.it.
In the book Watson and I not only tell you what we have been up to over the last 30 years or so but we pose over 45 puzzles to help readers get up to speed as amateur detectives.
Irene: You don’t seem to care about making money on these books.
Sherlock: When have you ever known me to care about making money? This is about truth and justice. Watson and I are working on the next volume called A Shot Across the Bow. We will be launching it on 00:00 GMT January 1, 2016 with the slogan: “Make a New Year’s resolution to follow the truth instead of the money.” (EDITORS NOTE: The release of this book has been delayed and you can learn why in The Case of the Radically Open Secret Society.
Irene: How will people learn about it?
Sherlock: We plan on announcing it simultaneously on the websites of more than 100 of the top news outlets all over the world.
Irene: You must have a huge advertising budget?
Sherlock: Nope. We won’t be paying a cent.
Irene: How will you be doing it then?
Sherlock: Stay tuned.
So there you have it; another mystery from Sherlock Holmes himself. I guess we’ll just have to check LenBakerloo.com after the new year to find out what he is talking about.