pith /piTH/ noun the essence of something.
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It doesn’t take talent to write comedy. All you have to do is live life and take notes.
All birthdays are numbered but it isn’t until something scares you to death that you start paying attention.
People reflect what you project and expect.
Don’t damage your children by making their world too safe.
A nation that puts safety first hurts its citizens and destroys its future.
If you’ve spent time with beggars and the homeless then you know that on the street on good days you must share good fortune with your less fortunate because the currency is called Karma and the bank is called Good Will.
Live not by ‘why’ but by ‘why not?’ You’ll work less, have grander adventures and accomplish more. Of course, many optimists say “Why not?” and then go ahead and do stupid things without answering the question. I may be an optimist but I’m not an idiot.
Charity pays in unexpected ways.
One compelling reason not to do something is a good enough reason not to do it.
All the work I’ve ever done has been the result of an attempt at avoiding writing cover letters and resumes.
Have you ever noticed that in action movies the good guys are better shots than the bad guys? That doesn’t make sense. Good guys spend their time learning how to be good whereas bad guy spend their time learning how to shoot.
Would you call yourself an anxious writer? If you can’t write when you are anxious then you aren’t really ready to call yourself a writer. Good writers write to relieve anxiety and prolific writers are the ones who have found no other way.
You can stoop, stop, stand, sit or shit; it’s all fine with me. But one thing I don’t want you to do is waste your time feeling sorry for yourself. It is tedious to others and it does you no good.
All pith is relative; it lives in the eye of the beholder. There is no pith; only pithiness. Pith is to pithiness as truth is to truthiness.
Nothing is the whole truth but everything is related to the truth. I don’t talk about the truth. I talk about truth’s cousin.
We must keep things in perspective. We’re all just pimples on Mother Nature’s ass. Except me, of course.
Brevity is the soul of the nitwit. Repetition is the soul of the dimwit. If you want to make a dim nitwit happy then tell him a short joke he’s heard before.
Don’t let anyone else tell you what it means to be creative or how you might define yourself. You are the catalyst and the world is your canvas.
To be creative live at the poles and send travelogues to the equator.
One dies believing lies.
The problem with “the masses” is its pondering plodding pointless monstrous massivity.
Sex sells and it’s all sublimation.
The worst bullshit is not the bullshit that makes you angry but the bullshit you don’t even see because you believe it.
You need dear friends who will put up with your bullshit and true friends who will not.
Long words are a beast and new words if long are the beastliest of all.
To imagine I have an original thought is arrogant. To have to know every thought’s provenance is stultifying.
If it doesn’t parse or doesn’t make sense then call it poetry. Perhaps Donald Trump is our greatest living poet.
Speeches are different from essays. A sermon on paper sounds preachy but when a preacher takes the pulpit people want a sermon.
People reflect what you project and expect.
Schooling has never been more expensive and education has never been cheaper.
You may be right but some people will defend to the death their right to shut you up.
You must watch your beliefs more than your thoughts. Bad thoughts are easily discarded in the face of contrary evidence. But your beliefs are the things you act on when you are not thinking. Beliefs are dangerous and sticky because they blind you to contrary evidence.
Rethinking is the essence of thinking well; it is where the game is won or lost.
Refeeling is the essence of feeling; it is where the game is won or lost.
Have many thoughts, but few beliefs.
Pray for sex. If that doesn’t work, beg.
Humor is truth wearing a pink hat and clown shoes.
Learn as much as you can about sex from reliable sources. The problem is, there are no reliable sources.
Imagine your life isn’t tragic enough as it is. Now imagine you only want to experience tragedy vicariously. I’m glad to be of service.
Learn to apologize and not make excuses. If you do that you will see that most people cannot apologize and they make excuses masquerading as reasons.
To lie is to utter a falsehood; period. Some say a lie isn’t a lie if it is sincerely believed and said without nefarious intent. These people are masters of self-deception.
You can understand nature but nature doesn’t need to understand you back. But in a relationship, understanding requires two parties to the transaction: the understander and the understandee and that’s what befuddles me.
People don’t like problems: they think problems are a problem. But problems are the spice of life. Problems are what keeps me coming back for more. In a world without problems I am not sure I’d want get up in the morning.
Good advice for a child, “Don’t be evil. You don’t need to make me proud of you, just don’t make me ashamed.” No child not so instructed should be allowed to go into politics or onto Wall Street.
Neither a borrower nor a beggar be. In other words, don’t be a burden on others; not even your future self.
It is better to take care of my obligations and let my rights take care of themselves than to take care of my rights and expect my obligations to take care of themselves.
We need to love and support those who are trying to solve a mystery. When we are the mystery to be solved, and our loved ones misunderstand us, then we must not hate them but love the all the more.
If you want to get paid for your ideas then issue them with a money-back guarantee. Then you will see that the only safe price you can put on an idea is: FREE
If I believe something and act on it then I own the consequences. If I say something and you believe it then you own it. Don’t blame me.
I am even less interested in taking responsibility for your life than you are.
You must save the world because the world needs saving. Letting someone else save the world for you doesn’t make any more sense than letting someone else eat for you. You need the world and you need to eat.
If we all try to save the world then some will succeed. If we leave it to the few to try then none will succeed. It is a problem too big for any of us; the only one of us who can do it is all of us.
Philosophy can measure its progress by how many ponderables it pushes into the domain of science, and how many it wrests back into the domain of philosophy.
Philosophers might do well to measure their relevance not by how well they are reviewed by their peers but rather by how well their children grow up.
You need a Philosophy of Life in order to live life by design rather than by default.
All the world’s not a stage, and all the men and women are not merely players: they do not have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time might play many parts or none. Know your lines if called upon, but do not live a scripted life.
All the world’s a game, and all the men and women are players. They are not controlled by a script but by their character; and one man in his time might play well with a noble purpose and another might merely exist and fail to make the first move.
A man with a purpose knows why he does what he does. The man with a noble purpose might not know why he does what he does, but others do.
The fundamental question each of us must ask ourselves is: How will I spend my time on Earth? And yet, we force our children to pay attention to so-called educators who drown out that question with answers to unasked questions, such as: What is the Cosine of 60 degrees?
Life is a spectrum disorder. Embrace your disorders.
It s more likely that if you live up to your obligations then your rights will take care of themselves then if you protect your rights and you expect your obligations to take care of themselves.
Occasionally I think therefore I probably am.
(Len Bakerloo explaining the temporary nature of his existence in the mind of his creator.)
One isn’t until one does and becomes.
Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” My grandmother said, “Whether I think I can or I think I can’t, I’m right.” My grandmother was not quoting Ford; she was talking about herself. An inspirational quote only inspires if you remove the “quotes” and make it about you.